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Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

I received an email from The Gottman Institute, and it was too good not to re-post. Just a few weeks ago I talked about cultivating a friendship with your spouse so they become your best friend. Some of the leading experts in marital relationships agree! According to Gottman, “Here are some ways you can strengthen the friendship in your relationship today.”

  1. Turn small moments into pivotal experiences: Intentionally take the time to tune in, actively listen to, and respond to your partner in a way that leaves them acknowledged and heard.

  2. Express genuine interest in your partner: You don’t have to have the same interests as your partner, but you can absolutely enjoy time spent together by engaging in one of their (or your) interests.

  3. Make everything positive in your relationship foreplay: Daily experiences like doing the dishes, folding laundry, watching TV, or cooking together can be opportunities for a deeper connection to occur. These can be moments to share about your day, talk about your goals, or simply to check in on how you're both feeling.

  4. Embrace your differences: Recognizing that you will have differences in opinion and ways of addressing certain issues that come up throughout your life can allow you to explore your partner in a different way. Treat your partner with the same understanding and support as you would hope to receive from them.

  5. Be on your partner’s team: Show genuine interest in being on your partner’s side. Examples of this could be standing up for your partner when you see them feeling uncomfortable in a social setting or helping them meet their goals when they face obstacles or begin to doubt themselves.


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