Wholehearted: Joy Is Formed When You Show Up

Why engagement with the life God has given you is essential to lasting joy

This is what engagement looks like. Choosing to be present with those around you. 

---

Joy does not come to those who wait for life to change. It joins those who step into what God has already given them.

There was a commercial for Nature Valley Sweet and Salty Nut Bar that always made me smile. In it, a man is lying in a hammock trying to reach a bar sitting just out of reach on a nearby stump. He stretches and strains, but he refuses to get up. All he has to do is stand and take two small steps, yet he stays where he is until the opportunity is gone.

It is meant to be funny, but it portrays real life in a way that is sadly too accurate. 

Sometimes what we want is within our reach, but for many reasons we are unwilling to take the steps needed to move toward our goal. Instead, we wait for things to come to us instead of stepping into what is already in front of us.

In The Law of Happiness, Dr. Henry Cloud explains that joyful people are engaged in life. They do not sit back and wait for happiness to appear. They show up. They participate. They invest in relationships, pursue meaningful work, and serve others. They are not spectators in their own lives.

It is important to be clear about what this means. Engagement is not endless striving or constant productivity. Scripture warns against anxious toil and the kind of striving that tries to prove worth through achievement. But Scripture also warns against the opposite problem, which is disengagement.

In the Bible, Proverbs 13:4 tells us that the soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. There is a difference between rest and passivity. Rest restores us so we can return to what God has given us. Passivity avoids what God has placed in front of us.

Joy requires participation because the life God gives us is meant to be lived, not observed. We participate when we invest in relationships, often by saying yes when it might be easier to say no. We participate when we pursue what God has placed in our hearts and when we serve others with what we have been given. All these actions require movement.

My husband and I rarely turn down an invitation. Even when we do not always feel like going, we show up. After each event, we touch base with each other and ask, “Are we glad we went?” The answer is almost always a resounding yes because we believe every opportunity holds something worth seeing. We would miss those lessons if we stayed home and chose comfort over participation.

Engagement is not always about big experiences. Often, it shows up in small, personal moments. I remember one evening when my husband came home with flowers and told me he was cooking dinner. It was for no special reason; it was simply a “just because” moment.

He had planned the entire night with care, and I loved him for that, but the problem was that I was not in a good mood. Before he even walked through the door after work, I had already decided I was going to pout my evening away. I was now faced with a choice. I could hold onto my irritability, or I could respond to the kindness in front of me. No one else could make that decision for me. I had to actively “choose” to be joyful. It required action. It required me to step outside how I felt and engage in what was being offered. When I did, the entire evening changed. What could have been a waste of a beautiful night became warm, thoughtful, and full of connection.

This is what engagement often looks like. It is not dramatic. It is choosing to respond differently, to step forward instead of pulling back, and to participate in what God has placed right in front of us.

Dr. Cloud writes that God promises an abundant life, but that life is not experienced without effort, and that effort is not about earning joy. It is about participating in the life God has already given. When God promised the Israelites land, they still had to walk toward it. They could not remain where they were and expect to receive what had been given. 

Sadly, too many of us see what God has given us, or opportunities He has placed in front of us, but we grumble we are tired, the work is too hard, and we do not show up. This is the key. To experience joy through living an abundant life, we must show up and put in the work. 

If you feel God has called you to be a writer, you must write. If you desire deeper relationships, you must reach out to others. If you want to grow in your faith, you must open your Bible, read, and pray. Movement matters because obedience requires action.

This does not mean we never rest. Rest is holy, and God Himself modeled it. But laziness is something different. Laziness is disengagement from what God has entrusted to us. It is choosing to remain still when God is asking us to move.

There is likely something in your life right now that you have been putting off. It may be a conversation, a responsibility, or a step of obedience. Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is take the first step, even when you do not feel ready.

Joy rarely meets us while we sit still waiting for life to change. More often, it meets us as we move forward in obedience. People who experience lasting joy are not perfect people. They are people who choose to engage with the life God has given them, one step at a time.

This kind of engagement is not learned in theory. It is practiced in the places we live every day. My favorite place to see it lived out is in our own homes, around the table.

It is here that families learn to be present with one another instead of drifting into distraction. They listen, respond, and engage in conversation. They notice one another and choose to participate in each other’s lives.

The table becomes a place where engagement is formed. It is where we practice showing up when we would rather withdraw, listening when it would be easier to tune out, and responding with care instead of indifference. These are small choices, but they are not insignificant.

Over time, those choices shape the way we live. They train our hearts to step in instead of pulling back. They prepare us to respond to what God places in front of us, not just at the table, but in every area of life.

And when we take small steps of obedience in our own homes, slowly, without us even realizing it, a life of engagement is formed. Not because we chased joy, but because we chose to show up to what God had already given us.

Together with you,

Lisa Lou

If this reminded you of something God has already placed in front of you, share it with a friend who may be waiting for the right time to begin. Invite her back to the table, where faithful living is practiced one small step at a time.

This is part three of the Wholehearted series on lasting joy. If you missed the earlier essays, you can go back and read them before continuing.

Discover More